Move Afoot to Revise the Preamble


By Anne Momovitz

It has just come to our the attention that there is a move afoot to revise the Preamble to the Constitution to bring it more into keeping with modern times.

A smuggled draft follows...

We,
the lawyers and politicians of the United States,
in order to form a more confused Union,
reinterpret justice,
prevent domestic tranquility,
subvert the common defense,
reconfigure the general welfare,
and secure the blessings of prosperity to ourselves,
particularly,
and our personal posterity,
do restrain and embellish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Perhaps Sam Donaldson and his colleagues will be able to explain the changes to the public's satisfaction. Clearly, the original was outmoded and offensively simplistic. Now we can have a sophisticated modern version more in keeping with the realities of our daily lives.


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